Video blog

I just had to comment on this again.... I think you are amazing. This is my fav youtube vid ever. Thank you so much for making that and inspiring us. I have started making my own letter to my body and although it's a hard thing to do... I will finish it. Hugs to you my friend

xox

amazing video dude, got real talent for it :) was brilliant, good luck with everything, i know you will do it :) i believe in you.

your friend x

Believe in Song

Believe in Dance

Believe in Culture

Believe that no matter who you are or where you’re from- everyone is unique

Believe in things you never would

Believe in doing things you never could

Believe in achievement

Believe that if you think you can, you can- but if you think you can’t, you won’t.

Believe in the damned

Believe in the degenerate

Believe in the corrupted

Believe that evil does exist in many forms, but all can be overcome

Believe in spiritual

Believe in holy

Believe in sacred

Believe that your personal values can never be taken from you

Believe in magick

Believe in hope

Believe in dreams

Believe that the unbelievable happens everyday

Believe in time

Believe in forever

Believe in YOU

Believe that as long as you believe in yourself- anything is possible

x

Haha this was just awesome!! :)

Hello :) Sorry- I don't have much advice for you this week, and the only advice I do have is a random and perhaps slightly irrelevant, but anyway, I saw a video recently and it might help you a wee bit. Most people find it very depressing, but I think it's inspiring. You may have seen this type of video before- I can't find the link (here's a similar one though http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YL4cFjmnQT8&feature=related ), but it's one of those ones where it compares the size of a human to the size of earth, compares earth to bigger planets, compares the biggest planets to the sun, compares the sun to bigger stars (and by this point, the sun is a tiny little dot in comparison to the biggest stars), then it zooms out to the entire universe, and our galaxy is this little barely visible spot.

Whilst many people seem to feel insignificant after watching videos like that, it doesn't have to be interpreted in this way. This world is an incredible place and there is so much out there- but we tend to focus on things without making proper use of our time- when our problems seem overwhelming, we should remember that we really are not confined to the little area we live in. Sorry for rambling on (and probably making minimal sense) but I suppose what I'm trying to say is that, yes, each of us humans is tiny in overall comparison to the universe, but we've all been put here for a reason- yes our time is short in comparison to the age of the universe, but it's up to us to make full use of that time.

Videos like that may make people feel insignificant, but in reality, we are human, and we cannot be expected to achieve beyond human capability- we're not expected to achieve universal greatness- perfection is an impossibility for humans- however, perhaps fulfilment is the strongest sign of human greatness. We've been given the gift of time- a position in this universe- we should take it and make the absolute most of it. I read a quote a while ago and it's been in my mind ever since "The tragedy of life is not how that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it". The only way for us to leave an imprint, nomatter how tiny it may be, on this universe is if we fulfill our lives.

It's so easy to get wrapped up in things like eating disorders and they're so difficult to get out of, but sometimes you just need to push it aside and focus on the things that you consider more important; family, friends, dreams etc. I know that's easier said than done, but if you start feeling more fulfilled, mental state improves, and things like eating disorders will gradually decrease. You can't let it take over your life.

Another thing I've been thinking about quite a lot recently comes in relation to the theory that the world will end in 2012- whilst I don't believe in this particular theory, the one thing that both religious and scientific experts throughout the world normally agree on is that the world could end at any time. I really don't mean to depress you by reminding you of that. What I mean to say is that in our world, so much emphasis is placed on the future- the media in particular is full of pressure, trying to get people to strive to achieve this perfect life, perfect body, perfect job etc- but so much time is spent working towards the future that the present has slipped away before we've even noticed it- and the thing is, the future may not even come. If there's something you'd love to do, do it as soon as you can- you never regret having done something you love- but you may regret not doing it, or putting it off for a long time. For example, you seem to care a huge amount for your little brother (which is really, really lovely by the way :) ) - don't spend too much time missing him- instead, be there for him as much as you can- you don't have to physically see him to do this- children are often a lot less judgemental than adults and will appreciate things that may seem cheesy or silly to older people, so the ways through which you can communicate with him are unlimited- you could write him little letters or notes, post him stories or things you'd like him to know, make him videos or toys; just little things like that. Every day spent alone is another day that has just passed by- ( I don't know if I'm maybe coming across as a bit patronising or something in this message- I really don't mean to be; I'm guilty this type of thing too of course- I definitely waste way too much time obsessing over body image and stuff) It's important to go to all the places you want to visit, and to spend time with all the people you like- and never ever turn down opportunities to meet new people- you never know how significant they could become to you, or how much you could brighten up their life, or even just their day. Don't be afraid to do something because of what someone else might think of it- remember that normality doesn't exist- there's nothing wrong with being a bit crazy or doing something unexpected, whether that be traveling to the North Pole, or simply joining a random club- if it makes you happy, then go for it!

And when things do get overwhelming, which is only natural, remember the video- there's a greater force out there holding it all together. This universe is absolutely mindblowingly incredible. The way gravity and everything works is hard to even begin to understand- but we don't have to understand it- it just helps to remember that it's there- that there's something looking after us. Personally, I believe in God, and Christianity helps me a lot. I don't know whether you're at all religious or not, so I won't use that as an example just in case, but anyway, when things go wrong, remember that at the same time, you should never give up faith; if in this universe, a force exists that can support the weight of the Arches cluster- which weighs approximately 150 times more than the sun, then hope exists for our problems to be solved.

I'll stop rambling now (and I'll be amazed if anyone has managed to read this far without falling asleep), but anyway, I suppose through this post, I'm just trying to encourage you to make the most of your time and never turn down chances to be the best that you can possibly be- don't let bulimia stand in your way. Sorry for going wayyyy of topic in this post- I'm very nerdy, which is probably more than clear, but ah well.

Oh, and to continue with the nerdiness, whenever you feel lost, sometimes it might help to look at inspiring photos. A few I recommend are:

http://wandermelon.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/aurora-borealis-c117648531.jpg

http://www.roma1.infn.it/teongrav/VESF/hubble-space-telescope-crab-nebula-2.jpg

http://www.richcompany.com/hubble/hubble-top-ten.htm

And remember that these things are all real- sometimes people find them boring, but I like the way that they can make you feel like you're part of a very special world, and maybe they'll help you in some way.

All the best :)

Big hugs! I haven't been able to get on my computer much, and I only saw this not too long ago. What you are going through is quite similar to me. The relationship with mother (although mine is keeping me in a box), the bulimia and anorexia on each shoulder...It's not fair that we have to put up with that. I have gone to restricting and have hardly b/p at all. I think if you can call this dietician then do it. I would hold your hand but I'm too far away. But I hope that you do that. I get angry with mine sometimes because I know she is right... Food keeps us alive and healthy if we eat right. It's our minds that need the work more than the food, but teaching us what we should and shouldn't do etc is the role they take, and of course the weighing... I see a psychologist soon... I think.... and have counselling until then. I have gained good insights in the last few weeks about myself and why I do this. I think there are more layers to dig down. Even then we have to go against the grain of this terrible pattern we are in. And it's tough work. And it's not our fault that we can't fight it fast enough or that we even have ED in the first place.. It's a coping mechanism. You are an inspiring person. Even inspiring people have low times. A lot of your help, advice, encouragement in previous videos and messages... they are incredibly inspiring and positive. Remember how you said I'm a ninja faerie? Well you can be a ninja too and we will eventually kick butt. We awesome ninjas always do in the end. We get the bad guys... :-) More hugs! xox

faeriejayne

You don't think you are inspiring but you are to me. This disease is relentless even though you feel like you have hit rock bottom you still come on here and share your thoughts and feelings and "positives" so thankyou!

I don't feel so alone :)

I wouldn't have the guts to do what you have been doing. Keep hanging in there and call that dietition!!! :P

Your experiences are so similar to my own...

Thank you so much and please take care

<3

Jen

Just to let you know I watched them both and sorry you are feeling so low - it's an awful cycle to be trapped in :( Maybe overcoming this will make us stronger people one day. Please try and be careful and go to your doctor if you are experiencing bad physical problems - I always say to myself I'm not that ill I won't die from this but people do. I know it's not easy. Please take care x